I Litterally Hurt

This IS the desert. I have had about 5 hours of sleep in 2 days, have drunk about 3 cups of water, and have now had 2 meals in the same length of time. I'm too tired to count off the hours, so I'll just round it to 2 days. Also, my hip is back to hurting again. Please keep it in prayer too, along with the rest of this stuff.

Anywho, in that time, I've made up with Laura and Lesle & heard Querty's heartbeat (Yay - thanks so much God for working all that out!), found out what I was missing out on all these years in my relationship with my dad, and found out that all the sucky things that happened in my life were not a waist of my time after all - they happened so that I would be equipped to help out a dear friend of mine who will forever remain anonymous. And, yet once again, I've made a deal with God. Last time, it was that I don't want to be in Heaven if He won't give another Beautiful friend of mine a Real chance at True Life. This time, it was that I won't want to be with Him if He won't be as good to my anonymous friend after the mistakes she's made as He's been to me after all the stupid, rotten things I've done in my life.

I want to gripe here for a minute. I HATE Perfectionism and all that it breeds, mainly contempt, but also mistrust and a lot of other jazz. I HATE it when people can't Forgive each other for things.

Oh, wait, if I want to be a Jeddi, *snickers,* I guess I have to not hate. Ok, I'll love people like that in spite of themselves, as God continues Leading me to be able to do that.

I have to go. I'm just so tired.

There MUST be a God.